Fallaces sunt rerum species.
(Seneca, De Beneficiis 4.34)

The outward appearances of things are deceiving.

pron = fahl-LAH-kays soont RAY-room speh-KEE-ays.

Comment: It's not so much the outward appearance of anything that is
the problem. It's the inner reaction we bring to the outward
appearance of things that can create conflict.