Sui cuique mores fingunt fortunam.
(Cornelius Nepos, Atticus 11.19)

One's way of living (customs, traditions) establishes for each one his/her
fortune.

(pron = SOO-ee KWEE-kweh MOH-rays FIN-goont for-TOO-nam)

Comment: This saying strikes me as having kinship to another: "you've made your
bed--now lie in it!" The idea is that you have the life that you have created
for yourself.

It's an interesting idea, and for some people may eventually be true. But it
also ignores that very, very few of us, if any at all, actually start out in a
bed of our own making. Most often, our customs, traditions, our way of living
is as much someone else's doing as it is ours. Usually it is moreso someone
else's: mom's, dad's, grandparents', church's, community's, etc. We most
often start out life sitting in a bed that has been built and made by all of
these other influences in our lives. WE may be in a bed that is generations
old, and it may be just as long since the sheets were changed!

So, if we want to have a life and fortune of our own making, I think we have to
get out of that bed, give it back to those who originally built it (and do so
with gratitude--even if it's a really awful bed), and then build our own.
Changing the sheets will not do. Turning the matress over will not do, either.
It will finally be someone else's bed, someone else's life, and finally,
somoene else's fortune.

Perhaps one of the best gifts parents can give to their children is this: to
acknowledge that we have had them in a bed of our making, and then take the bed
away as we invite them to build their own.