Sero dat qui roganti dat.
(Anonymous)

It's not called generosity when a person gives only after being asked.

Literally: He gives late who gives to the one who asks.

(pron = SAY-roh daht kwee roh-GAHN-tee daht.)

Comment: John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, had a different perspective on
generosity which, as I recall, he took, from Basil the Great: Earn as much as
you can; save as much as you can; give as much as you can.

Wesley's comment puts the emphasis back where it probably goes in the Latin
saying: on the one who gives. It is easy to become defensive towards "askers"
and spin into some unhealthy places and attitudes about giving and asking and
feeling compelled to do "good" when we really don't feel that way at all.

If generosity and gratitude are daily practices for us, then it is also easier
to say "no" when we need to. If I know that on a daily basis I am grateful for
what I have,and that I do give generously out of that gratitude, then when asked
to do or give something that seems not right (for any particular reason), then
saying no will also feel more natural. I can say no at any given moment
because on a daily basis, out of gratitude, I am generous.

Otherwise, being asked does catch me late. I am caught off guard. I feel put
upon. I feel guilty. Or worse: I feel indignant. The world around us is
going to show us ourselves whatever we practice each day. Some call it "the
mirror".