Rex est qui metuit nihil, rex est quique cupit nihil; hoc regnum sibi quisque
dat.
(Seneca, Thyestes 388-390)

A king is he who fears nothing; a king is also he who desires nothing; each
person gives this kind of kingdom to him/herself.

Comment: To fear nothing, to desire nothing—each person gives this sort of gift
to him/herself.

Seneca was a Stoic, and a Stoic at a time when it was not politically correct to
be a Stoic. Stoics valued knowing what things in their lives they had any
control over, and then making their choices in light of that.

For instance, I may fear that some day I will be killed in an automobile
accident. For the Stoic, it is clear that I have no control over what
accidents may happen to me other than attempting to be a safe driver myself. I
can give myself the kingdom of no fear about being in a car accident because I
have no control over that.

I may wish to own a multi-million dollar mansion. A Stoic would observe that I
have no control over the kind of money it would take to buy such a mansion, and
so, I give myself the kingdom of no desire for such a house because I have no
control over it.

Finally, for me, the Stoic approach has some good ideas, but the application
falls short. It does not take long to notice that just because I don’t have
control over something does not change my feelings about it. In fact, that
might just intensify the feelings.

Seneca’s words might give us this, though: I can give myself the gift of
looking squarely at what I fear and what I desire, and allow that they are
running me. Notice them, allow them, talk to them, ask them where they come
from, learn from them. Rather than being driven by my fears and wants, I can
begin to learn from them, and perhaps, allow them to move on.