Qui sua perpendit, mea crimina non reprehendit..
(Medieval)

The one who reflects on his own faults does not condemn me for mine.

(pron = kwee SOO-ah pehr-PEN-dit MAY-ah KRIM-ih-nah nohn rep-reh-HEN-dit).

Comment: This is the compassion that I wrote of yesterday. This medieval
proverbs illustrates what it means to practice on oneself before practicing on
another. In fact, it goes further than that: it illustrates what effect
practicing on ourselves will have on the relationships we have with others.

Weighing our own crimes—reflecting on our own faults—really means having a good
look at ourselves. And it means learning to practice compassion. Take note.
If I look at my own faults and condemn myself, I simply will find it all the
easier to condemn the faults of anyone else who gets in my way. And this works
backwards beautifully. If we see someone who is always finding fault, then we
are looking at someone who cannot and has not ever really looked at themselves,
seen their faults, realized that in those moments they were doing the best they
could, and then allowed themselves to learn and move on.

That’s what compassion means. That’s what reflecting on our faults mean. If
you really look at a “failure”, I challenge you to find one of your own in
which you weren’t, at that time in your life, simply doing the best you could.
Your best may have, at that time, included quite a bit of ignorance about
something. You were doing the best you could in your ignorance. Did you
learn from that experience? All the better! Allow yourself that, and move on.

Once we begin to really see ourselves this way, the self-condemnation ceases.
And, behold, the judging of others does, too. It’s not about forgiveness. It’s
about really seeing, and allowing life to move and grow.